random scribe..

Cant believe its been an year now..
Fate of the one who bears the collective guilt of the perpetrators is still hanging in the mid air..while the fate of those who beared the bullet wounds and shrapnels was sealed right there.. Like life was forced out of their bodies.. coercion.

What did they get??
An invertibrate for a nation or just a bad name??

Relegion provides incubation too all the irrational, and everything that is pointless in this World.

Lilo and Stitch

Thats what they would call us if I had a friend named Lilo.
There goes Lilo..and there with her.. Stitch.. all stitched up. Several barbed thingys keeping his insides inside. Had it been a fashion accessory…and had I been given a choice..I would have asked for anything less girmmer than Edward Scissorhands…. but I am no johny depp… my 600 bucks worth of sutures are covered in cotton and doctor’s tape.. (Some say I look wise ) but I would say that its just little inconvenience.. as in..I cant frown…

So what happened??
I was in a hurry…stumbled on the steps…fell on the doormat which kinda cushioned my fall..otherwise would have broken my jaw or somethin. But still…got cut just below the chin. My head was spinning..and I got up..reached the counter….all confused and breathless….. was told that I should wash up..

coz of all the blood (thats when I murmered..oh fudge)
“Oh fudge!”
Showed the cut to Jawa..who said that I might need some stitches….
Asked Sankalp…whoh took me to a hospital..
(Boy..that guy is so level headed… I was going blah blah…and he was really calm..I wonder whether he wanted to slap me and shut me up..~~)

So…here in the mini OT…beneath that really bright lamp..being cleaned up and stuff…this is what was coming to my head..

1. I should get such light fixtures in my room…
2. Oh fudge!! stupid betadine stings bad.
3. May be I will die…
4. Damn.. I should have worn my lucky undies.
5. hmm..hmm….hmm…la laa…..oh fu**! That hurt.
6. I should be more careful with my steps..
7. Now he is injecting me with some weird thing….on my chin for god’s sake!
8. Now he is opening this sache…. (out aloud now) “I need to close my eyes now”)
9. yaeeks..
10. Thats one..
11. Thats one more..
12. Thats one more..
13. OOh..this is what botox must feel like.

Night was not over as yet…
the medicine I was given had this salt Oflaxacin and I am allergic to that. I forgot to tell that to the doctor..and he never cared to ask. Neither did I see the pack..just reached home…popped a pill and slept
After an hour or so… had these hives all over my face…had to be rushed to emergency (again…on the same night) to get avil injected.

Hell of a day it was…
Some people I would thank…for helping me out..when I was all talkative..confused..and all opened up
Jawa
Achint
Anoop

I thank Sankalp..for all the trouble he went through
Siddhant for getting things done..
Swati Jain for keeping my baggage safe ..

Ya Ya..I understand….I havent received the oscar as yet…..but hey…guy gotta start giving speeches somewhere

Ball is in my court again!

Orwell says…”It does not take much time for the oppressed to rise back to power and oppress in turn..”
Well..its true. Its a Limbo nation at DCE then… with all the oppressed teachers…rediscovering their lost pride, lost confidence… they are still alive..
they look in the mirror probably…do an “evil plan laugh” while their right hand reaches for the left, palm meets palm and the fingers do a little tap dance of their own to go with their evil laugh..

The messees will become the messers..and the messers will make sure that we (the new messees) mess up bad!

Its been years,
I was in tears,
havent seen you in any lecture
oh my dear
.
Is it the detention,
or just failiure,
which instills in
you a little more fear.

Its all now clear,
I dont have to bear
this Mental agony
of teaching you here,

Its the my time and how,
now thou shall bow,
or take a vow,
to study in for days in a row.

ball is in whose court now??

With a mark of red stain,
I can insinuate a lack of brain,
give you some pain,
fail you and gain
back my pride and it shall rain
on me my lost mind that is too sane.

Ball is in my court again.
Ball is in my court again.

After shocks..

Often it happens that you are taken to be the human of sub prime intelligence in your neighbourhood or your relaitve circle. They would always know me as “the one who doesnt talk much”.. however… less do they know how much of a conversational ball roller/dropper am I. Not any more..

When my neighbours came to know that I had got an offer at Cisco…apparently a company with an ad on tv..they were shocked. I wont lie here…even I was shocked. Since then, I have people dropping by my house…who dont recall if cisco is spelled with an ’s’ or a ‘c’, but their whose who is working there…or their whose who’s neighbour works there.

I have been in the habit of freaking people out..
I remember once.. to this guy I am not very fond of..I said..”Dont worry..I am just weird”
and at another occasion I said that “Would you count upto 3 so that I can hop down the stairs.” to a guy in my class. Well…there couldnt have been a better way to freak people out then saying that I got placed at Cisco.
Won’t lie here.. every moment it occurs to me, I enjoy it even more. I am enjoying every bit of it.
This evening, my mother made me deliver Ice cream packs to extended family personally…to go and take the blessings and stuff….and instead I was handed over a shopping list .

Its been 3 days..and my mother says that I am acting super snob. Now I dont know what is that about. I mean…I use stick ons..put them on my desk and walls all the time…but now she notices it and says its just show off tricks I am pulling off these days.

Have been dozing off like crazies… 12 hours a day… and yes havent studied a bit. Nothing at all..

Finally….feels good that I still had to ask for money to buy some ice cream…

Somethings just never change..and may be never will

Friday the 13th it was..

It was indeed. I was back home, 9 pm in my watch, tired, bored, threw my aricent bag on the bed…and it bounced like it never did. I dont do omens . But now I am certain that it was one for sure.

A friend called me …apologised for being “rude” and having to break the news that I had made it. What./???
Went hyper… called people present there but no phones would work now. 10 minutes of perspiring, moving here and there..not knowing what to be smashed…. there..got a call from placement coordinator. I was through. To add to this sweet success was the guy I had been chosen with . It actually gave a sense of accomplishment..

“Oh fudge..Oh fudge”
Have you ever seen a ballerina covering distances in leaps on a stage…well…pretty much like that…I leaped into my parent’s room….
“Ho gaya…” “Ho gaya…. cisco mein ho gaya”
Now they knew cisco was a decent company because they had seen some ads (If there are ads on tv..its a big company for sure )
We dont do jumps as a family,… but bunch of popping things that pop would best describe what we did as a family that day

Then it was a crazy period when every one you call you up…has a litle chit chat about the interview. And I would keep telling them the same things over and over again . I did what I have done in every other interview… I made them laugh

HR:”Hi Prateek..”
me: “Hi”
HR:”Tell me about yourself”
me:”Prateek, DCE, IT, 20 years of age, loves to read, loves to write, and loves to code”
HR:”Loves to code??? oh..then Sarvesh will have lots of questions for you..”
Sar:”Hi…”
me:”Hi..”
Sar:”what are AVL trees?”
me:”er.. I dont know. I mean..I have read but I forgot”
Sar:”Binary trees??”
Me:”Blah…blah….blah..root. blahen blahen node. blah blah search.”
Then we fought over this thing about sockets which he claimed that I was missing..but I humbly said…that to my recollection..this thing is managed interally…I never had to specify it.

Main guy johnson joins in:
john:Hi
I: Hi..
john: Any job offers in hand?
I: Yes…one. Aricent
john: Why not Aricent??
I: Sir, I appeared at Aricent for…lets say mental satisfaction. Nothin more to it.
John: (Laughing) So…why cisco?
I: Talk about networks..and you are not being accurate if you dont drop the word Cisco. It just has to come.
then he went for a brief period..when the HR and Sarvesh joined back in
HR:How would your friends describe you.?
I: Well..they will say that I am sincere, honest, dedicated, and fun to be around.
HR:(Smiling now) So wht do they dont like about you.
I:I would say they would love if I was more optimistic in life.
HR: So you are a pessimist?
I: Realist
HR:ANy plans for higher studies??
I:I would love to. But dont have the profile.
HR:WHy not?? you got first rank.
I: No decent university would accept me for I dont have a research profile, nor do I have an industrial experience.
HR: Kaunsi university jaan hai??
I: MIT… Stanford..
Sarvesh: giggling now
I:But madam I wont get the scholarship.
Sar: Aur admit aa jayegi
I: Ya..woh bhi nahin aayegi

Then they grilled me on hardcore networking.
I had to design a network, tell about sockets, tella bout ports, some tcp, some udp, OSPF and RIP…, my dearest Dijikstra’s algo, some C, some data structures..

and then
Johnson: Why Cisco??
I: Sir..because the work interests me.
John: Would you join cisco??
I: It doesnt get better than Cisco. Trust me
John: How long will you stay??
I: er… I dont see that much into the future. May be all my life..I dont know.
John:Move to Bangalore?? would it be an issue?
I: By decision would never be based on how far I have to go..or relocate if required. I did an internship this summer…spent hours in buses to reach there.
John: Any questions??
I: Sir..may be its a little personal. But you told in the ppt that you opted for managerial post? Was it a recurring interest, or a personal choice??
John: You saw ppt? what did you think of it?
I: It was the best I have ever seen..
John: Do you think I have people skills??
I: It shows…
John:It shows na. Then he smiled
I:Sir I asked, because I faced the similar dilemma right here in college. I abandoned my CAT prep just because I wanted to give tech a try.
John: You are not a manager…you are an engineer. Thats what you have been trained for. Government has spent on your training, you have the concepts. You can contribute the most to this world by being an engineer.
I: Yes sir. absolutely.
John: Prateek…
He got up to shake hands..I got up
John: You have brains. Now whether you make it or not..remember…work is never interesting. You have to make it interesting.
I: Thanks …it was an amazing experience.

It took me one hour to come out of the hall…apparently got interviewed thrice.. within an hour. Had the biggest smile on my face.. but I was unsure because I didnt know RIP ..and apologetically said..sir padha hai but kafi pahle padha tha

Feels good when instead of a masked lunatic, you are greeted by a job instead on Firday the 13th

I woke up at 7 the next day…for apparent reason.
Smiled as I looked into the mirror….
and the lyrics came instantly…

“I wont hesitate..
no more no more…
its just our fate…
I am yours”

Cannibal Creativity

It is happening..the charm of an immediate audience and an instant reaction is taking away everything from my blog. Happens when I spend hours waiting for packing one good verbatim and post it on my facebook account…as a result..Lost the will to write those pages of rant in which I used to find some comfort.
Creativity is dying..
Is this what they call the writer’s block ??

Blah..

Happens…when there is nothing that really happens in your life.
When monotony thickens and just so happens that you find yourself getting choked on it in the middle of the night, When you want to shoot dead all those chirpy birds that used to make your less than perfect morning. Bread is always soggy, coffee is always a little too cold, food is a little uncooked and you could always use a little more salt. These little things you do to make your mornings a little better, but of course …with little success .

Monotony is change when it begins, change when it ends..and just monotony everywhere else.

Scared..

May be not the first time in my life that I am a little scared. I dont know about what… but soemthing upsets me and just that I can put my finger over it. I have completely given up on my MBA prep…and I dont know where am I headed.

This unrest that manifests in my head is making me pull away from every good thing I should be a part of.
I dont believe in talking about it face to face with someone,Because it would alway result in some sort of a adage which may sound comforting but is not usually a great help. I dont know what should I be doing now… weeks pass by all eaten up by this inaction and lethargy that I find myself tied to. Caught in this stupid cycle of file submissions is getting hard for me. May be a vacation… may be a coma..

I have never been a fighter. I just wish this all gets over soon.. wake me up when it gets over. Why cant I be an ostrich,, why do I have to see the end approaching..

The Diwali..

What occasion could cause the best of family friends dress up for the occasion and sit in ones drawing room drinking cola./? Well….title was give away haan??
Well this is exactly what happens at my place. Our family friends..whom if we visit otherwise..or if they happen to visit us.. there are no social protocols that we follow.
I know on which kitchen shelf they store their coffee…. and they all know where do we store ours. Which is like the highest social access you may give to people in our social circle..believe me! But there comes Diwali..and we know that they are going to be dressed in their shiniest outfits..and will be sitting in our drawing rooms pretending to be uptight classy strangers…trying to strike a conversation about my future plan (Which is a hit topic in my drawing room..)

Then it comes the difficult part, when you are expected to proxy for your parents and visit all those creepy people with their little dazzle shows they put there… (I wonder if yelling my eyes! my eyes! would be a compliment). So there were the other nigams in the colony who came in to sit and eat and admit that too…

“Your mom and dad are not here…. the best chance to sit, eat,and leave quickly..” said they..and then giggling and gorging.
Welll..I would have loved that but I am instructed to call parents up in such situations.. so I did.
Meanwhile..
“So…4th year haan..”
“Yes..”
“Job or MBA”
“Still figuring out..”

and the other thing I was still figuring out was their kid’s names. Man…am I bad with names. A wrong name could be absolutely embarassing.. (for them ofcourse ! ) Now I know they boys..and I they are two in number…

“So..how were his boards…??”
“Whose?”
“Both of them had boards..of course… yes..both of them had theirs.. How were boards for them.. now dont say Black…” Said I..giggling and sipping my coffee I did slip in sme humor..but they didnt get it I guess..
“Well..went well…”
“So have you decided upon a college yet..”
“Shubham is studying at Hansraj…”
“Ofcourse he is.. ya ..”
And then came my parents for rescue.. and I evaded what could have been a train wreck.

What is so good about diwali haan??? with all the cheap thrills you get from those bijli bombs.. or the shameless chinese wonders you plug in and flaunt at night.. Its so noisy..and my throat hurts because of all the smoke. Seriously… but there is something in the air.. and TV programming is at its best not to forget. Diwali has something for everyone..even for me

The artist I couldnt be

The artist I couldnt be,
for they
read me, follow ,ping me, tag me.
How bored fellows are they.

The incessant cries of the virtual socializer, begging of you to comment, wanting you to “lol” on him/his. With technology providing a way of fulfilling every basic human craving… the compulsive attention seeker seeks some more attention on his blog/twitter/relationship status on his facebook page. The emotionally deranged insecure puppy has arrived… on every social forum..

They want you to like them, follow them, comment on their needy writings. They expect you to like what they fell in love with. Who needs a psychiatrist when you have 241 friends on facebook haan??

Its not all that bad you see… a facebook account can be a litmus test on that person. See what he likes….see his pics.. invade a little privacy of his on his consent..be friends with him. And there..you know the person with the kind of status updates he like.. if I ever recruit people..their facebook profile will be a criteria…so will be their blog. But a caveat. Ever wondered how even ultra boring and stupid people get number of hits on their blog.. (Because you visit them..).Its a fools haven..out here with 24×7 google search giving you insight on every possible conversation starter, a spell check to make the most sense out of your writing..and a vast web full of other needy people you can borrow some thoughts from. Who needs original??

Wonder whether we will have another great book or poem or painting.. And you know why. Because all great novels are/were written in solitude, isolation. The human brain is known to work at its best in isolation, in social depreivity. In the stiffling corners of victorian walls did bronte write her Heathcliff. Now imagine if she did have a facebook account back then…how on Earth was she going to avoid that craving to make status updates. Had there been emoticons back then, I think we would have a smiley for Monalisa!! So in short, what I am trying to say is that the rise of machines as we may call it, is killing the flair for art, creativity ….why??… well it is that the social denegration has produced the best artists, their genius is a product of their introvert, lack of social conduct… and contact.

Now I know why cannot be the next da vinci. Even if I have what it takes… I am deprived of my share of social deprivation. Stupid Broadband!!!