The Wise one says…

To confess, is to betray your own soul.  I, exist not for thy.. my  friend but me. And what right do I have to exist if I betray the oneself that  this “I” belong to?

Yet, I am willing to commit the ultimate  objectivist’s sin, I am about to confess for I have been a failiure. A failiure in my pursuit ..of my happiness.

To start off with, I dont know what I am looking for, Its hard to describe what might make me happy in the true sense. Jokes do make me laugh, but does that even count?? The convevntional wisdom anyday, slaps me hard on my face , smell the roses, feel the breeze is what it talks about.  Any amount of introspection makes me jump to the conclusion, and it is such that I cant meet my eye; for its a virtue of the incompetent . Complacecny, nothingness makes me happy. Having no aim, having no rush is what gives me the real pleasure. ANd look at the irony, in my pursuit of complacency, I tend to stitch before time, and save a ten rather. This is how I lead my life, have been living my life.

Success doesnt come this way, is what I learn. Yet I am being relaxed about it. May be I dont need any!! May be I dont think parameters of success fit my idea of same. May be I am being one of those who never will taste it, but after all I am entitled to have an opinion. Dont understand…and more I try to….yes you know the platitude.

Is it me speaking or is the 0000 hours  speaking through me?? May be I will regret this…but I am hitting the publish button..lets see what you have to say..

How am I spending my days, well…certainly not cleaning anything. Despite of major mommy outbursts about my desk, side tables, the closets…I think I could run a pageant of most disorganised places within my room….imagine stinking laundry competing again all the newspapers lying around. Not a pleasant thought?? I am living it! I am proud of it.

It is not like, moss or fungi has infested my room..it just shows that ..I am may be a little careless about my stuff and all…but I guess its ok.

Had good ole neighbours coming to my room to use the internet, and…I had to make loads of seating arrangement. Quick, robotic movement of piles of books..larger ones over the smaller ones…papers all over the place…I had to vacate my bed, spare chair…too much work! Surprisingly..when people use facilties …they dont complain. They just…ignore the existence of bedlam lying right next to them.

My mother…however was a little embarassed. (She ofcourse has every right to be…cleanliness..has never been my forte’). All the pretend scolds I was getting about how my whole bookshelf was right there on my desk and a lot of it. She would clean it all if she had her way….but… you know..all the tantrums one throws during the teenage (Broadcasting the fact that I am staying  a teenager until its 18th of April!).

Dont point that finger at me….I take a shower everyday.

So…I finally got an oppurtunity to switch our TVs off.., turn the lights off, and sit outside for an hour. We did, me and my family…proudly took part in the Earth Hour.

What did we get??

The feeling of being a part of what is an international event, the feeling that somewhere..some electrons were finally at rest was amazing. 

Feels good…watchin news flashing across about the Earth hour…feels right!

We live, we die. Seeking approval, fitting the moulds carved for us, doing what is expected out of us. We do  what we are made to, what we ought to. Why???

We are the lesser mortals, with no epiphany, no higher calling.

We are the ones heroes die saving, we are the one who like sheep find comfort in warmth of the touch, taste of the food, We exist…with no purpose…no aim…we are complacent..bored…evasive of any change….avoiding any dynamics. We are the masses people talk about, we are the masses people can make generalizations about, we are the ones. who people often forget about….who live…who die…nobody would ever know why!

I think of what others might think of my actions, I think a lot they say.

Like all those ordinary men, I will die some day

Yet I believe somewhere in my heart,

I might just break away

from the shackles that hold my trivial dreams

and make them true, I may.

What holds me here, in a land so strange

I still dont really know

May be it would just be better

If I die right here and go.

What was it , I was trying to pursue

when I lived once back then

I was trying to be little different

from all those ordinary men.

I aint different !

Recently, I read an article in some HT supplement regarding treatment of protagonist in the movie Fashion, sleeping with a guy of African origin. I was bound to agree…as while watchin the movie with my mom and sis..it was precisely the point where they just managed to contain their “tch tchs” and “OMGs”. Makes me wonder on the subtle disparate outlook etched in our minds…

When they tell Cinderella in Africa…is she Black?? I dont know…. but when they tell it here in India, she is always fair……milky; cheeks so rosy, hands so slender, eyes so blue. What is being passed on  in the initial phase of life is often not paid much attention..at least not as much as it deserves.

We are made to learn to love the white, hate the black. Associate white with the pristine and the pure, while all the fairy tale villains were all black – no exceptions. Take the ugly duckling for instance…the ugly duckling was black!

Read any matrimonial and all the prospective brides are “fair and  convent educated”. The term convent educated again sheds some light at the Indian obsession with the west. Whatever is there’s is bound to be better then what is ours! We will take that in some other post.Is this the reason Katrina Kaif works for us -the Indians (Including my own self), despite of her what…3 facial expression?? May be.

DOnt even get me started on the fairness creams. I can bet that there are people who think fariness cream is the greatest invention since the wheel!!

I am so glad..that we so far dont have any likes of Michael Jackson ..who probably would go ALL THE WAY to be treated as a white.

I think we can do away with the milky white Princesses….from all the kiddie tails…and I bet we will have a generation free from such prejudices against the ones not so fair!

Give me a D….GIve me a C……and hence…electrocute me.

In a world..where teachers like “han ji” queen and “ghor gadbad” guy… “today topic” exist..and not only intend to teach but teach the crap out of us…I have just lost my will to breath in such a world which happens to be dummie’s delight.

I am tired.. TIred of being there. The magical tales from the white wintery planes of Russia make me think…as I submit myself to sleep..

I

The word “restraint” is thrown around a lot more casually these days.

I and a couple of friends were dining one day, when we began our eternal vicious discussion about ones eating preferences…the vegan or the vogon(havent read H2G2?? Me neither..but anyways) diet.

One of us went on to say that the reason for not consuming any sort of meat was “restraint” one had chosen to practice.

I say wtf! One sees restraint in consuming dal Makni cooked in dollops of butter, dig in butter naans and shahi paneer, savour a slice from the famous pizzaria but eating meat  is the luxury one has chosen to restrain from??  Calling it restraint is, in my opinion the biggest and the brightest glorification of the chicken in the History of Birdhood! Its actually the sheer acceptance of its superiority over other food items!

SOme believe in the vegetarian diet, becuase they think that anything that walks desreves much more respect. WHere is that resepct when somone consumes what had been an ovary before?? When you squish all the juice out of the oranges… I dont see much of a difference betweeen deskinning a chicken and peeling off a banana, nor does the God (if she does exist).

This is how it was intended to be. Even humans are a part of food chain, but we were smart enough to swoop out of that spot.

Its a matter of choice after all…but I think no less of a veggie….nor one shiuld think that way bout some hardcore butter chicken eating INdian!

One thinkg I fail to fit in my generic channel of thought is the justification of cannibalism. Now…cannibalism wouldnt it be violating another man’s right?? Yes it does. (ANd it hink its actually gross). ANd like all other primitive social structure that have been studied (and watched by myself on the animal planet!) that cannbalism exists in Lions, snakes, alligators and many likes…but usually results into  ostracisation of the one which resorts to it, similar to human as I would say.

So we havent changed much since we lost our tails….we still are an integral part of the food chain which manifests in nature…but we have no need to worry unless some Jurassic monster says “Would you be my dinner tonight?”

The weirdest thing happened today, when one of my aunts had a tryst with the chain snatcher’s gang. What….are we living in the medieval times??? Scares the hell out of me..!! Ths incident happened in broad daylight on the main road, in front a major hospital, nearby a metro station!! There is a cour opposite to it for christ’s sake!! What is happening to Delhi?? Glad nobody was hurt. One thing for sure…that she…is a brave brave lady!! ANd you better take my word for it, she managed to snatch half the chain form the biker’s hands!! Once….when I was in the kindergarten and there was this merry goround I was sitting on..I wanted her to stand in the middle and be “My Fair Lady”. She did…but…had to get her back X rayed !! And there was this one time a candle fell on a and something woodent nearby somewhow…caught fire. My cousin (3 then) was sleeping. Furniture wsa on fire…and she (like sunil Dutt as we jokingly refer) jumped into the room…and “rescued” her..whilst the rest were trying to put the fire off(with little effect) . I call it girl power!

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Went to a birthday party at the McD, and god they surely dont  know how to arrange one! Horrible Sound system, bad games….a really dreary hostess from McD who kept saying “Excuse me!!” to the Birthday girl.

“Dont punish the people…takes time”

“PLease leave if you are out of the game”

Other statements began with “We donts…” and “we can’ts”. Turns out its not the place that makes party…its the gitls you can gape at (:P My apologies). I had fun sitting next to Ronald….got a free toy as well

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Observe Earth Hour, on 28th March. Switch off your lights for an hour,as the world does! 8:30 PM to 9:30 PM.

www.earthhour.in

I dont intend to save alot of electricity, just making an appeal to you…..think what we are doing to Earth..think what we have done to Earth…. Its a planet worth saving they say , DOnt you agree??

Mid sems..are here. And I…in my entire mid sem history….at the worst stage of preparation. And it gets better!! The college fails to quench my thirst…so I find solace in the web. SInce I am glued to web now….I know its 10 AM, I know I have to complete my stupid Microwave thingy for the paper….but here I am….making apost, coz I am getting a feeling that I must make a post.

These people..after benmbing my brain with the faculty they provide, expect me to learn vector calculus again!! (God I passed that paper hard).. I am done with this stupid stupid syllabus and to top it with the teachers…living off our pride, ego,time,patience,tolerance,irritability and most of it all…life!

(Apologies for the bromidal usage in the title)

Within a blink of an eye, Delhi finds a large number of “Big Bazaars” growing here and there…(Wait…read till the end, I intend not to talk trivialities of life). Big bazaars are good for nothing . Except for substandard items you could barter for by giving away the eco-system sprouting on your old leather shoes (Its not a bad deal).

But one thing I am sure of is the fact that Big bazaar has given an air-conditioned platform to the Chinese so that they can sell their cheap products produced as per the Economy of  scales. Dirt cheap electronic goods , cheap phones, “Eau de toilette” and what not. The land of Dumplings do a dumping …right here in the Bizzare bazaar … paradise of the xenophilic bourgeoise ..who now…is as close to realisation of his ”vilayati- dreams”  by affording the  Parisian Fragraces manufactured in Shanghai!

Is it bad/ is ti good?? I ain’t an Economist. ANything that satisfies the masses is what works here in INdia. The Chinese produce cheap…and if that is what people want! One thing that is a little disturbing is the fact that the CHinese brands are unable to earn the loyalty of the faceless consumer they target (A few exceptions though..like Lenovo)

SOme intuitive conclusions..

1.Kills competition. Specially the one from India.

2.Draws a lot of revenue from our country into theirs.

The recent accusation of using toxic material to produce toys actually raises a very serious concern in my Mind. The word “Quality” is thrown lot more carelessly these dayse without any thought. No matter what laws, regulation are  in the place …the Lord of the procreation is to be sedated before it guzzles down the Asian goodwill and the Economy for that matter.

Had there been no CHinese invasion….there would be no cheap/fake deoderants lying on my table (about 6 of them…clarification: I use none). What in this world could cause a nation to push all the deoderants into their neighbour’s?? God we must stink!!