The Wise one says…

Missy likes to smell the air
she holds her nose up high.
SHe thinks she invites all the stare
which makes all wanna die

You run by chance into just her chair
she yells at you “How do yo dare”
You know, she knows that you dont care
but yet she shrieks like witch from blair.
like a banshee you pay to see in a fair
she blows her lid off in the air
the stare the glare her anger’s share
evade the flying footwear
if you may, please her by leaving from there
coz she makes me wanna pull out my hair
yes Missy likes to smell the air…

Just like Missy you pretend,
you think you complete the Earth’s end.
if you could, please you may lend
some brain to me, help me think the trend
you may be pretty
but you aint smart
your sidekick men push you to start
the shimmy you do..
your ways to woo..
will last for a decade or two

your mental device leaves you out bare
but yet you like to smell the air
you hold your nose so up and high
which makes everyone wanna die.

I think, if I ever had a game show..it will be called XOR ka Po(we)r. Where I will be asking two seemingly disconnected questions..answers to which will be xored. And the best frnd of the contestent will have to predict the result. Now I have played it with my cousins..and its actually fun..

“Do you really like your car? XOR Do you have a girl frnd?”
is what I asked my cousin,
“FALSE”
“Now” I said to my sister…predict the answers…
(of course..it requires a basic introduciton to logic gates…and ya the Super bumper MUX-DEMUX round requires them to understand a little combinatorial electronics..)

Yes you got it right…voyeurism is in the air..as we see Indian adaptation of “The moment of truth”. Now I am not a fan of the show. It was fun initially when I caught all the episodes on youtube…but then it just gets repetitive.

When I had first heard about this thing coming to India..I thought the highest degree of mental suffering they can make a female undergo is by asking her whether she has secretly consumed some sweets before the karvachauth pooja. I thought this was enough to shake the grandma’s chair, make the Khap banish a couple from Jhajjar. What else possibly could Siddarth Basu ask from a conservative, semi-theocratic soceity.

But bravo. The format didnt adapt, the contestant’s put a bold face up..to sell their secrets.
First episode…and I see this woman being asked about pre-marital sex in front of her mother. The next day we see this seemingly patriarchal yet a philandering (as you would know later) man who has been into incest, extra marital and what not..

Addictive viewing is what all this is being called. And why not?? It is indeed. Watch them wash their dirty linen in public, and the “reality” makes it all spicy and juicy. Not to forget the hours of rerun they get on New Channels. Nor does the parliament wants to stop discussing about it. The secret voyeuristic in the Indian switches the TV on.

Ethical?? Moral?? Well..nobody defines that. The contestants are asked same questions prior to the actual recording. SO basically they are well aware of what piece of their dignity would get them all the gold. Actually its comparable to prostitution. The only difference being even this profession some times is born to a necessity, but what makes such addictive viewing is a minion of gluttony and desire.
The show is like snuff movies…or paying the poor for some “services”. yes..poor…with a a crore at stake…we more or less..become needy and greedy and all dreamy.

Do we need to draw the line??
Well..no denying that yes..people do have sex before they get married. Yes bored beta husbands do get their share of kisses outside the wedlock. The seventies had introduced us to a concept of birds and bees with vigorous vibrations of those flowers you see. So if things come out in the open, if we call sex just sex…the fundamentalists…(read hypocrites) go blah about it as if they never peed into pool!!

“What kind of soceity are we going to build?” said some chauvinist on this times now debate…
.do you think the show makes the soceity..or the show is reflection of same?
Chicken-egg and the eternity is what we might be talking about here…but the fact remains that they bank upon what all is already happening.

Burn you producers who say that its game of courage and redemption. Its not. It is addictive television, you make people look bad..yet no one can really claim to be a saint. You buy their stories…to make some money yourselves.

I think its very interesting to know different perspectives..about this show..and I think it is best treated with the same seriousness we treat Rakhi on her wedding trail.

Just imagine what would have happened if the producers had called the show “Satyameva Jayate”…

I was bummed the whole week, 4 days..and had to report to my office, and then they ask me to accompany my mentor to real requirement analysis meeting at gurgaon.
Now..I was eager (yet tired) and had to go.

At gurgaon..this company was supposedly transcribing the pilot to some NBC documentary and wanted some plug in to make it quicker. It took us 20 minutes to get security clearance…and I was so embarassed:
1. I had a pen drive in my pocket..which is a faux pas when you are visiting any information sensitive area(as I was told by the guard)
2. I kept touching this plastic card to the sensor…thinking the gates would swing open, only to be told by a company representative(who watched me do it thrice before she said anything) that they are just the plastic guest cards…and they dont have the magnetic strips ( to my dismay..a tube traveller’s nightmare)

“Actually this is my first time in a real industrial enviornment” I had to escape the embarassment..
“Arent you working with Aditya already?”
“Ya I am.. But ” before I could finish it off..I saw a semaphore from my boss to cut it out.

Oops..I was about to call us a startup…in front of clients..

The meeting went on real nice..not text bookish as I had imagined it to be.
The book says
“Developers and customers meet at neutral ground” : we were in their den
” make a list of requirements” : I didnt had a pen
” blah blah blah” : None of it..

We saw the videos, I asked some questions…sir asked some questions… the CEO (I was so glad to shake hands with him) was really nice (and had a pony tail..)
Media people are really cool..have to say.

Once meeting was over… we talked and talked for hours. While having lunch..or on a rickshaw…walking…or mall hopping…subject varied from my phone to his phone, rock bands to Orhan Pamuk, Google to Moment of truth, his friend at amazon who resigned yesterday to Ellen Page.

Boy…this man is an IITian, owns a company, reads, watches movies… and I felt that I had pretty much no reason to exist. Name the author..he has read him. He talked of cars…and milages (now that is one of 100 things I am impaired at) and in an instant could share a view at magical realism and anarcho syndicalism. Brilliant. He and I had a common hero. Noam Chomsky!

..he had booked tickets to ice age as well…
the movie was good….so was the gesture.

Now this is one of the great advantage when working with cool people who have not yet got dissolved in hierarchy and not have yet personified the bossy airs. His second name could be cafe coffee day. Meetings..CCD, discussion..CCD, interview…CCD. and then the movie was an exhilarating experience in etirety.

And just when it comes about to a close next week…I dont want it to end.

I am inspired..

I am not a bike person..not at all. And the fear of bikes aggrevated when I knocked one down while I was driving. I am living in a constant delirium since that fine day…imagining every bike to be collapsing on the vehicle I am traveling in.

When my mentor offered me a lift, I kind of had no choice for I had missed my regular bus..and waiting long hours would just be boring. So I decided to “go with the flow” and ride a bike this time. Remember when we were kids and had to cling on to the person who was driving you through….no I didnt do that.

I am not much of an equilibrist, so I was sure that toppling effect can be safely attributed to my inflexible reflexes. I do have read about how a biker has to bend at the bends…and I always have been afraid of bending in the wrong direction. You know..innate responses which may seem quite obvious, dont occur to me.

So..here was the wind in my hair, and I could make faces at him, without being looked at. My hair looked like alfalfa from the Rascal’s movie. I was terrified for my laptop and my hand held the back rest tight.

I reached the mid way, only to find that “Kanwariya” have taken all the buses..so service will be thinner then ever.
I do an auto hunt at such times, and a major part of it involves finding people who could share some of your fare.
This bony figure which stopped the auto..and then yelled in the voice full of disgust ,,a flick of hand,.will make you vanish sort of thing. Boy..was he crazy.

I had to split the fare, and he being a tough cookie..I had to pay three parts while he paid two.
“Hi..Mahmood…Nice to meet you”
“Hi..Prateek”
“So…these auto vallahs are immoral, they overcharge us”
“But we are kind of helpless…with no buses”
“No…..NO…Fix the price, then sit”
“Ya..I kinda saw that little outbreak of yours”
“I always fix the price, you see it is sufficient for him” he said pointing at the driver

“So Mahmood..where are you from” And I was sure he was from Kashmir
“Iraq..Baghdad”
“Wow..and you are travelling I presume”
“Oh..I study.”

A little trivial talk about song he was playing which was like arabic rammstein only little more satanic (or so as I thought)
“So you have a bike..?”
“No…but I just came on one.”
“You dont have a bike?” And he put me to shame…nodding sideways in the most disapproving manner…

“So..how do you find Iraq when you compare to India”
“Well..India is big. And hot”
“Really?”
“And..I think comparison wont hold right. I mean..Iraq has been in conflicts, has come out of a war..a major war.”
“Ya..I know. War is the most disheartening thing..” And all I could think was the publicized hanging of the great old despot.
“War ruins the country. It ruins it for me..for youth. Even if you come out of it, recoil hits you below the belt…”
“Was it better?? I mean before the invasion”
“At least it was peaceful. Atrocities did occur, but a major land remained at peace. And then this huge turn of events.”
“I think..time is all Iraq needs. “
“Yes..and that is why I think comparison doesnt hold”

And it was time we got off…

I had read a little Chomsky earlier..
“Power, unless justified, is inherently illegitimate. The burden of proof is on those in authority to demonstrate why their elevated position is justified. If this burden can’t be met, the authority in question should be dismantled. Authority for its own sake is inherently unjustified”

Sometimes…your thoughts come flashing over…all you read..comes flashing over validating the instance, exemplifying it to the very core…like some one is really running a school up there.

Sometimes..dots connect.

I wanted to do this post for quite sometime, never actually had wish or will to replicate the cringe that followed those first few days..the exact trauma in my head like a really bad spoof of some really bad movie. No I was not ragged.. it was just the way I was (am).. socially awkward, embarassing.

I had my coolest outfit on (I wish it was spiderman..) but it was a white cargo and a blue shirt, a fake bag and sneakers on. It was all a new buy..there had to be. I was a fresher. No, I was not a bit nervous. I was sure that ragging only happened at cool colleges, not at the places where people who possibly had multiple failedattempts at IIT JEE ..sort of camp for four years, hiding for a time long enough for their neighbors ,relatives, every one they knew to forget that they once took the JEE !

So here was I, all dressed up, reached the classroom, sat by this boy called Ankit Kukreja…who now is I guess the Mech topper. Hunting down for a bench mate was kind of necessary. Just so as you know who are you having your lunch with…and just that you dont get ragged or something. Now this was a huge assumption both of us made… that we will not be ragged if we stayed together. We are like surprise goodies seniors were hunting for. Dull Dim freshers who would cry at the next slap.

I went inside the canteen to get a sandwich (who brings food the first day..now that is very very lame) and got caught by the seniors…
Now these bunch of obnoxious seniors wanted me to tell them about Priyanka Chopra in Hindi. And as I did…they didnt want her resume!! I wanted to grab that sick man by his Dhoni hair and smash his head. I dont know what sort of pleasure would he derive from this. A girl joins us, and wants me to bow. I did. Then she became all bossy and began to shout. Now I usually respect women ( ) but I shouted back at her, only to invite her boyfriend to grab me by coller (that guy was I think the founder of the dance soceity here).
“Go complain to whomever..”
and then he over pronounced his name syllable by syllable.
I didnt realise what just had happened until I reached home… I escaped a beating (there were more to come in the coming years)

I got to know this guy called Rohit Singh…who was right in front of me. His hand would rise up every once in while to answer the seemingly perplexing mineral chemistry questions.
“Hey..hostler??” he asked
“No..to my relief!” I said
“Ya you bet, with all the ragging going”
“Is it really?? I did just fine till the lunch break” I could say proudly
“Oh..you are not a hostler. I have heard they enjoy a matinee show if you know what I mean”
And I didnt know what he meant. And I didnt dare ask either.

Seniors were frequent to visit the class that day, would make you swim…or play badminton. I didnt invite a lot of ragging..until I was asked to open my mouth. When I open it…people hate themselves for lettimg me ever do that. Then they get angry and want to chase me, or beat me or just slap..but this is a fact took me 3 years to understand.

Our English teacher wanted us to learn some hindi words, beacuse seniors would ask it while ragging. Wow..it indeed was a socially accepted, recognized phenomena. During our math lecture, this really excited guest faculty wanted us all to apply some theorem which I didnt even knew (still dont) the name of..forget the application. I was in the civil department it does had its share of lunatics. me..to begin with. There was this really stupid guy who was unanimously voted the CR just to get a few kicks out of his pompous ego for making it into DCE. There was a bunch of girls , one of them never returned to the college after the first day.

I still remember walking back to the gate in a bunch, crowding the RTVs and never looking back into the eyes. But I still ended up meeting Ajay(Goel) on my very first day. He had been to our class twice for some civil engineers soceity..twice and met me in the metro.
“So you guys in civil??”
“Yes sir”
“I am you senior”
“So, you always wanted to take civil” asked someone from the curious crowd..wanting to know what was going to be done with/to them
“Actually, its kind of a legacy for me”
“SO..you are really civilized” I did say that…and laughed at my own little joke
“Dont you dare cross your limits..”
ooops..I had presses the trigger

He wanted one of the guys to be tarzan in the metro, a girl to be jane and rest of us had to clap. So I had to get off before I could watch any of it..

On my several meetings with Ajay at different occasions, having told him that he ragged me on my first day..he had no recollections about the tiny incident (nor about the lil joke I cracked).

All in all it was a scary experience. Yes..accept it or not, ragging makes it scary. Whether it occurs or not.
First day, I thought it was done over with. Less did I knew More was to follow..

One of my friends got picked up on a bike, had to strip (the least he can tell).
The same day this seniors approached us ( a group of 7) and said
“Meet me at the gate. And you..” pointing at me “Come with me”
I protested
“If you all wanna reach home safe…make him sit on the bike”
Now if you are sane, you would never dare to make a statement like that
I protested, walked with the bunch, jumped into an RTV and waved at the unruly biker.
of course, lived under fear of being recognized for a couple of months.
I was so irritate, I once wanted to do a sting operation with my really cool flip camera phone.. (but didnt)
Talking on the phone was something that could get you out of tough spots…and I did use it a lot of times.

It was scary..but some tell me I was the one who always had something to say..and make it worse for rest of them. The last incident made it kinda too bitter and less sweet in some sense. I even called up a faculty person I knew before hand to tell him about the bike incident…but he wanted me to “go with the flow”.

Glad am I to be on the sopho-”moronic” side. I enjoy not being chased or hunted… its better that way.

On Hilary:
Well..she is goign to address a group of youngsters at DU, barely 10 Km from my place. I tried for the passes, pulled all the strings I could to get to hear what she had to say about our education system, but unfortunately couldnt get one.
That day I watched this special talk with Hilary on times now. Her, Amir Khan and our very own Arnab (phhh..) talking about primary education. Now what makes Amir Khan think that if he has vicariously directed a movie remotely close to education makes him an expert in education ?? I mean, they could have invited somebody from the industry…and make some sense of the show. With Amir by her side, it was just mockery. And Arnab, with all his passion and fervour remained too vague to be heard.
Amir..stop hogging the light.

On Vaccines:
Did you catch the latest Farah Khan appealing every parent to get their kids protected against pneumonia?? “She has..did you?” sort advertising has been seen as noble and kind…but she gets her share of controversies. The affordability of the vaccination is questionable, by such advertising (cant be called a campaign) this ad tries to exploit the vulnerabilities of the masses.
I think it is unethical…

On Eunuchs:
I always have been irritated by the ways come barging in your houses…or mooning you on the streets to extort money. A friend of mine suffered a similar incident when he was flashed by this eunuch on a traffic signal..
But Bihar Government comes with innovative ways of providing employment to eunuchs..making them do what they are best at. Apart from the regular crafts training and all…they will be made ambassadors for child care, visiting homes to infants, providing information about vaccinations, and giving tips to new mother about child care. Simply Brilliant.
And for those who dont pay their taxes, these people will be made to visit them, and give them a song and dance show about the benefits of paying taxes.
Finally, Nitish Kumar shows us that he does have great ideas. The idea scores for its social relevence..lets see how is it executed.

Johny Cash:
Now..I am fan. Heard of ring of fire..the melody is just amazing. I have listened to the song about 8 times since morning. Also, check out coldplay cover this song. Beautiful.

This one is really close to my heart. As a book, I have loved it. And one major reason why book works so well is that it leaves you all pent up , waiting for whats more to come. Its dark, its gloomy, its sad.
One thing I say to all the anti-potterists is that the series grows with you. You leave a kiddish treasure hunt sort of narrative somehwhere in the middle of the series, and grow up. The characters grow up, the set up grows up…bigger, darker..

And with this potter movie, I think it joined the leauge of LOTR. I am not sure if people would agree with me, but this movie simply is an excellent adaptation. Director tweaks some scene or two, just to add some drama, allay some hyper moments to make them strong..even better than the ones in the book.
I cant say this bout Order of phoenix, but this one was as good as the book if not better.

SOme top notch acting, be prepared to see these people act. I was so surprised to see Rupert Grint pull off a scene (the one with love potion) so well, causing you to notice him in the frame while still harry is standing right in front. Emma watson enfuses a lot of warmth into each scene she does, superb act but I was expecting way more from her.

Tom riddle as a teenager, whoever that kid is has done a jaw dropping act as the suave villainous soul, each syllable dropping from his mouth is so crisp and amazing that I wanted to applaud in the middle of the audi.

The cave scene is well made, and dumbledore does make an impact. Draco is emotionally stunted, a good act there as well. The scene where katie bells is thrown into the air, creeped the hell out of me..and you dont expect such scene whilst in a potter screening. Chilling!! Dumbledore’s death is quick, the scene has been done justice to for sure. A loud crack..and boom.
Impressive opening where you are swooped in along with all the death eaters..fantastic.

Luna Lovegood remains my favourite, she is as weird as she was in the previous part, only prettier!

If you are not planning to catch it in a theater, dont plan to watch it otherwise either. Because that way, you are doing injustice to some amazingly made scenes meant to be seen at least in a home theater!!Some master class of a movie…for sure. Really well made.

btw: dont even think of going to the movie if you havent seen the previous ones…or else you end up like my dad (who insisted on watching the movie..but dozed off..)

This song..captivates me. I am humming the lyrics all the time…and they mean so much. Powerful music, belittles me..makes me understand..what are we in this huge scheme of nature…nothing.! ABsolutely nothing.

BUS.
I really dont want to get into a wrong one, and land up some place strange. Once, I quickly stepped into this sparingly occupied bus, victorious;only to know that it was going to the other end of Noida. THat was hilarious…and when Bus driver slowed it down for me to get off…I couldnt
So I had to go to the next stop (not much help either, the driver kept moving..people kept rushing..pushing me further into the bus)

Today, I had to take an auto all the way to Yamuna Bank…and boy was it a ride. Cool breeze, and thos pastoral views of Mayur Vihar, delightful. But had to shelve 100 bucks for that ride…kinda too expnesive. But see..it was 8 , and no bus in sight.

The way these bus drver rush into the masses of the people, either willing to stuff some into the moist ghettos, mow over the rest. I seriously escaped my experiments with death. Like dodging bullets..only bigger. Or bullets dodging me rather.

Humidity is no respite. Hand rails are no respite. The moist cohesive dirt which is with brain of its own..willing to cling on really hard to your clothes.. disgusting. And then you pass by this red stone memorial..probably a fortress to a bronze maya memsaab with her purse. Wish she could by more of these yellow marvels until the Noida metro is compelted.

Feel sleepy now….

Well this is pretty much how I spend my weekends…watchin movies..thanks to my cousin for a perennial supply.

1. Kal Kisne Dekha hai…

well…”kisne dekhi hai” and I would say I. And I think this one movie which doesnt give you sufficinet interval to laugh in between the unintended humor. Its a toruture anyways…you either just drop dead at the songs…or die laughing at the script/dialogues/acting..
From the moment when this urban looking boy is shown milking the cows in Punjab to the place where he meets love of his life airhead…this movie just doesnt have a single…not even a single moment where I was not giggling. I was gasping for air..when the boy asks his Physics lecturer “Sir…Sapne kyon aate hain??” in the class. Horrible dialogues….and the girl who portrays the “Arrogant hotty” breaks into a jig all glammed up Indian attire. Songs just happen in the movie…and if you think they add to viewing experience….well they do. The music is horrendous. Direction is worst ever seen in the Bollywood.
The stunts….one thing which I thought might be a little relief…was not a misfit to the movie either. He bounces his college seniors off with a basket ball…and they are thrown up in the air.
Time Bombs make a comeback in the cinema..with evil Rishi Kapoor (the Physics teacher) creating to blow the college up. And ya…I believe this movie is actually a resume for the actor. He dances (horrendously), acts (barely)…kicks (his own asss for sure) and falls flat.

I am so happy this movie flopped. But I think its definitely worth a watch….I mean..if you love Hollywood as much as I do…you have to watch this movie for yourself.

I give it a 1/10 (just for those hilarious dialogues which make some good entertainment)
I wonder if it was intended to be a spoof…

2 Audition
We all know of Japanese and their horror. ANd if you think Grudge is scary…man..you havent seen anything as yet.
Check out this “pure evil” (as a german lady yelled at the director while at its premiere) Miike’s 1999 movie which has been immortalized for its sadistic scenes.
Hostel is gross..with all the blood and gore, but this movie is horrifying minus blood and gore.
A widower, who on being persuaded by his frnd, gives into conudcting an audition to look for a new wife. He feels guilty bout it, but when he sees this beautiful, subtle,shy ballerina he falls in love with her. Dates .Dates Dates….all mushy stuff and as we proceed towards the last 20 minutes in the movie…you see the girl avenging the man for his “evil intentions behind conducting the audition”.
She put needles in his abdomen….and sweetly says “kiri kiri kiri…” which means deeper.
She cuts his feet with a piano wire…and yes..you get to see her working through the wire. The girlish innocence and that charm is never lost…not even when she vomits into a bowl and make her previous victim eat from it.
You have to watch it for yourself….its creepy….very very elaborate and graphic..and causes you to take a minute and look away from the screen.

Classic indeed…I give it a 8/10